I've Been Depressed (A Novel)

So I was originally going to keep this as a private comic for patrons, simply because it's a bit difficult putting myself out there like this. However, after seeing all the messages of concern, and knowing that everyone has been so worried about me this whole time, I feel like I owe you guys more than that. Seriously, I wasn't expecting so many people to care so much that I was gone - (I don't know why! I suppose that was rather silly of me to think.)

First of all, I want to thank everyone who has stuck with me this whole time, even through my rough patches (like this one!) Honestly, I'm flabbergasted how supportive this community has been, fans and friends alike. You have no idea how much it means to me.

But anyway, down to brass tacks: you may have noticed I haven't posted a Behind the Gif comic in a while!

Long story short, I've been depressed. If I'm being honest, I've been teetering on the edge of burnout for over a year, now, and a culmination of recent events led to a swift collapse of my resolve. I saw this coming, and I did actually mean to take a planned hiatus this winter. However, the way things worked out, I sort of just disappeared off the face of the planet instead. Seems I waited too long and pushed myself too hard, and by the time I realized it, it had gotten so bad that I collapsed right before the finish line I had laid for myself.

I wish I had just taken that break instead of trying to push myself through what had developed into obvious mental health issues. I wish I had communicated to my fans ahead of time that I was planning to take time off instead of leaving people to worry. And for that, I sincerely apologize.

I'm not sure it's worth getting into all the minor details as to what's been going on with me this past while, but I can do my best to summarize:

As some of you already know, I contracted covid in March of 2020, right at the start of the pandemic. Ever since then, I've been dealing with lingering symptoms that I am still to this day struggling to manage and treat. It's caused a lot of pain and anxiety that compounded all the mental health issues already brought on by the pandemic at large.

So when Omicron hit, it hit me hard. Worry for my family, myself, and the people I care about spurred a breakdown that necessitated an immediate sabbatical. I've been taking these past two months to focus intently on getting the help I need, and it was absolutely the right decision.

It's hard to be funny when you're suffering, but continuing to create in spite of my struggles is something that I pride myself in. Even if what drips out of my brain onto the canvas isn't the cute, funny content many people know me for, I think it's important to let it come to fruition, even if it requires I sacrifice a few weeks of cute anime cats. Because if I can't connect with what I'm making, it's not going to be good. And I don't want that. I want to make quality things.

Anyway, think of this as Part 1 of my Explanation As To Why I Have Not Posted Any Comics For So Long. The next part will be coming alongside a new Behind the Gif comic on Wednesday next week, so please stay tuned!

Wed, 02/23/2022 - 19:35